Day 24

How could I go my whole life without realizing that Big Brother is only helping me! I love him, and my insolence has shielded my eyes for forty years, but now I understand. He has made the world a better place, and two plus two DOES make five. I cannot believe I ever loved a woman. That is against Ingsoc and against my beliefs. I reconnected with Julia and she is no longer the beauty she used to be; only an old, stiff woman. As the victory news rings out on the telescreen, I praise the victory I have won inside my heart.

Day 23

To love Big Brother, I must be tortured...tortured by my most unimaginable fear. I did not know until they were there...rats! O'Brien would torture me with rats, and let the vicious little monsters chew me like a chew-toy. And then, at the brink of insanity, I realized I would do anything, anything to stop this. I would put anything in my place to stop these vicious rats from torturing me. I would put Julia! I would leave Julia to die, my companion. I would let my only companion die, because I loved Big Brother.

Day 22

From the ugly, old man I was, I am now a refreshed, young stallion who runs in the pastures of the Golden Country. They have given me dentures, and new overalls, too, to hide my true identity. Although I obey him, I hate Big Brother with every last ounce of my might! I understand the ways of Ingsoc, but I do understand why I live and am living like this. I know that my brains will be splattered across the walls of Big Brother, but I do not know when. I live in paranoia, and now, I am ready to go to Room 101.

Day 21

Power, the Party is only for power. They do not care of the well-being of us humans. They are not humans; they are robots who plan to diminish the world where sex is useless, babies are born into castes, a world of hatred and fear. But this world is not real, and it will not survive, because hatred and fear cannot defeat the morality of man. I may have turned into an emaciated, ugly, old man whose teeth and hair fall out so helplessly, but humans will survive. Persecution and power are not strong enough to defeat; they will only destroy.

Day 20

Oh, how the pain surges through my body like an animal eats and churns my insides out as I am abused and nearly killed by O'Brien. How could he abuse and torture me with such maliciousness? I do not care about my crimes anymore, or two plus two makes four, but that the pain will go away. And when it stopped, I am sure that O'Brien is right and I am wrong. Whether the Party holds up four fingers or five fingers or three fingers, what is said goes, and is not to be questioned, because the Party is RIGHT. No matter which side the Party is on, they are always, always on the right side.

Day 19

The jail is like Hell, but worse. I sit and wait, next to drunks, black marketeers, drug peddlers, thieves, bandits...everyone who I am not. Me, I am here, for I was caught, by a PHOTO! Torture and starvation are key in this area, this area where daytime is a lifetime. I cannot tell time, and not even a crumb of bread is given to me. I die a little inside, and begin to die, as my life decays right in front of my sad, little eyes. I cannot take this, but there is nothing left. I will die, but I would do anything to save Julia, to be with her, to love her once more. I would do anything, but in the face of "anything," I believe I would be forced to rethink my beliefs. For now, I will sit, relax, and slowly die alone. My biggest fear, ALONE.